I wrote this for you. You know who you are.

Let me tell you something you probably already know. The daily chore of earning a living leaves hardly any time to live at all. We hurry along, pursued & trampled by the stampede of troubles the world freely provides, until eventually we're buried beneath an avalanche of grief. Time is an enemy to everything and death is the great equalizer.

The world imparts too many painful lessons, too often, and never enough tender ones. We're subjected to leaderships that spit words without substance or dimension and we wait as dull vacuums, pretending we exist by pretending we have some control. For so many stupid reasons we give up, give in, give ourselves away as the days grind to dust. We no longer feel with our sense-deadened bodies, nor love with our brooding dead hearts. Wrapping your mind around the futility of it all can leave life aimless without meaning.

But life is desire, not meaning. And desire is the premise of all being. Gazing into the starlit night might stir us to dream, yet there's always some minor swelling against it - a resentment brought on by expecting those dreams to ultimately collapse. We live in a world of millions of little people with millions of big dreams and they don't want them to come true, because it might hurt.

Everyone has hard days, empty of inspiration. In this instance there is precious little to distinguish us from each other. I'm forcibly struck by the sad death of potential, death of love, death of ideology - the sadder death of all hope. And for each funeral we wear the same shoes. There are so many things that should be and could be, if only… if only. Instead we sink beneath the pathetic ruin that comes in the aftermath of our battles against ourselves. We helplessly surrender as perfect failures that missed the caboose of life's gravy train.

Certainly we're flawed and petty, but not beyond repair. Human hearts are like that. Yet everyday we rob ourselves of some chance for happiness. We close our eyes, misunderstand and forget. Like most people I wish I had skipped some of the more anguished years and was spared the shapeless fears that still tear us down. But that would be the biggest fattest lie of the century. We embody our flaws as well as our strengths and you cannot destroy truth by burning the pages of history.

All life is sacred, whatever sacred is, and eventually time will have guaranteed revenge. To the more bitter and bruised readers I say this: If you can share just one honest thought, a heartfelt dream, with anyone, that idea will exist! It is the things we mean most that are the hardest to say, but ultimately they are the most gratifying. We are more than just spindly limbs with ravenous appetites. We are inventive and creative beings! There will always be the desire for some champion of our dreams to thrill us with their passion. We'll always need someone to make us feel we have strength when we have no strength at all and that can put us back together when the whole world breaks us down. Those who dream great dreams inspire great hope.

So hold on, world. The years ahead are a pilgrim's journey. The future may be more ugly & rough before we're released from it's obvious cruelty. Some of us may not make it, but most of you can excel if you try! The tiresome pursuit of fulfillment may easily devour a lifetime, but the darling bygone days of the past are not wasted years. They made us who we are and who we will become - for better or worse. Let's choose better.

At this point I should like to speak to you from beyond the grave so that I may speak more freely, without limitations. It has been more than a decade since I took my last vibrant breath of life and the despair of common regret has overtaken me. By chance, you readers do not suffer from my misfortune just yet. At this moment you have the opportunity to say and do all of the things you've been too afraid or too apprehensive to say and do. You have the chance to clean the slate and move ahead with the solemn wisdom of knowing you've done all you could do in life. This is an occasion that you cannot let pass by. In the end we will be remembered by these things and it is the duty of virtue to mend old wounds and complete the course without eternal harm or shame to those we've affected. Your moment is NOW.

If you are lucky enough to find some prevailing tone of relief from the sorrows of life then you are most fortunate. If not, do not surrender to the cold. Apathy takes a more sophisticated approach to the destruction of all human freedom. Love can be a friend, a husband or wife, a hobby or pet, whatever you like, and it can be a grueling struggle. But finding some pleasant comfort to old soreness might very well be the eternal meaning we search for. Or perhaps it is just a desire.

May tomorrow be kinder to everyone.

-Zombienose

4/28/07